Let's Talk "Socials"...

Regarding Socials, as I mentioned earlier, I initially thought this was a foolish concept, and I "forfeited" the 3 socials that were included in my first trip/tour to Odessa.  When I returned to Odessa later in 2008, I again started my trip with an organized Anastasia tour, but this time, due to a rescheduling situation with a girl I was meeting who was flying in from Moscow, I found myself with nothing to do on the day of the first Social.

Since the Socials were included in the package I already paid for, I decided to "kill some time" and attend a Social, which was held at The Palladium... the most popular Winter nightclub in Odessa, at least back in 2008.  Being somewhat of a "social butterfly," I found myself cruising around the nightclub, my head on a swivel, thinking to myself, "This is not bad at all!"  

I actually had such a great time at that first Social, I also attended the second Social "just for fun."  And even later on, during one or two solo trips to Odessa, I actually paid for admission to a Social or two.  The last time I attended a Social was a couple of years ago to attend a "Miss Valentine" competition... quite a fun show to attend.  

Let's put it this way... compared to writing letters to beautiful "dream girls" who may or may not ever see your letter(s), may or may not be writing her own return letter(s), or may or may not even know of your existence; or sitting at your computer thousands of miles away on a chatline, most likely chatting with an interpreter "pretending" to be the "dream girl" who's photos are flashing across your computer screen... at least at Socials, the girls are there in actual "flesh and blood"... you can look in her eyes "up close and personal," and make your own determination if there is any romantic interest, or not.

Theoretically at least, these girls are supposed to be single and interested in meeting a Western man for a potential serious relationship... after all, that's why they registered with a "marriage agency" in the first place, right?  I wish it was that simple... but women are women... and believe it or not, they do occasionally have a bit of a "devious" side... There is no doubt that there are some very sweet, sincere, interesting ladies in Ukraine, genuinely interested in meeting their "one, true love"... interested in a "better life" in America, Australia, Canada, Western Europe... anywhere besides "impoverished" Ukraine...

This is where "romantic common sense" and the "3-Date Rule" applies... Yes, you can meet several beautiful girls at a Social, acquire many phone numbers and make acquaintance with several interpreters... and you can have a lot of fun "exploring" all these possibilities.

But once the fascination with meeting and/or dating so many pretty girls begins to fade, reality might set in, and if you came to Ukraine to find "one special lady," it might be time to "push the envelope" a bit and try to focus your efforts on the one lady with whom you feel the strongest connection... or if that doesn't happen, perhaps it's time to start planning another trip sometime in the future!  There's no "sure things" when it comes to the game of Love...

                                             Preparing for my "run" up and down the

                                                 Potemkin Steps on a nice, sunny day in Odessa

Online Introduction "Trap" Continued...

Any man who has logged on to one of the dating sites that introduce Ukrainian and Russian women cannot help but to be initially "awestruck" by the multitude of beautiful and seemingly available women who are able and willing to correspond and/or chat at the click of your mouse... it is very enticing and difficult to resist falling into this "trap"... I did it, and I'm sure most "adventurous" and single men that want to take this process seriously do it also...

Let me start with some positives... first of all, It helps a bit to learn some of the things that Ukrainian women find important and interesting, the terminology they use... just a general familiarity with the culture and the way Ukrainian women think and express themselves...

In addition, online correspondence is one method to set up meetings and dates if you are seriously planning to make the trip.  In my opinion, it would be a good idea to try to make some introductions online within one month of your actual travel date.  Keep your messages and chats short and sweet, and always emphasize something that I found of value... always impress upon your potential date(s) that "one personal meeting is more valuable than a thousand letters and chats; I hope you agree, My Dear"... Any lady that disagrees with this point and feels the need to have "extended chats and/or correspondence" before finally meeting in real life is probably only interested in keeping the meter running and the cash coming...

Don't be mistaken... anything upon which you are spending money online getting acquainted with these ladies is more than likely profiting not only the girl with whom you are communicating, but also the local Ukrainian agency with which she is registered.  I know, I know, I know... all the international websites claim they do everything they can to eliminate this deceptive practice... but in reality, this is a very common practice in Ukraine and very difficult to police.  There is no point in asking a foreign girl who you have never met in real life, "Are you getting paid on this site?"... Because the answer will always be, "Of course, No!"  Don't bother asking... just assume she is getting paid or given something for her participation.

At this point, you would probably be asking, "If this is true, then what's the point in using any form of communication that costs money with these girls?"  I think I would answer this question by comparing this process with the popularity of slot machines in all casinos... we all know that the machines are programmed to make money for the casinos EVERY TIME... but people still play slots more than any other form of gaming... WHY?  Because they all think that "their" pull is going to be the winning pull...And yes, some people do hit the jackpot.

Making a genuine romantic connection with a potential dream girl from Ukraine is quite similar... yes, the odds are stacked against you, there is deception... even downright fraud at times... but still there is the genuine potential of hitting the "Jackpot" with an amazing young lady who will bring you real happiness...

If you are not serious about actually traveling to this country, and if you simply get your "jollies" by communicating or corresponding with beautiful foreign women, then maybe you can find value in spending your time and money writing letters and sitting on the chatline watching your credits and bank account shrink...

But if you are serious about trying to find someone special, someone with whom to spark a real romance, even someone to marry... your primary focus and financial resources should be targeted on traveling to this interesting country, and making plans once who you have arrived "in country"...

                                                    Romantic Odessa... )))

The Online Introduction "Trap"

As I've discussed, I was introduced to this international dating game and the country of Ukraine through Anastasia-Date website, and I even used this company for my first trip/tour to Odessa, Ukraine.  Before I discuss some of the "Pitfalls" of this dating game, let me offer a link that discusses the fact that at least Anastasia-Date is trying to crackdown on some of the fraudulent practices of far too many young ladies in Ukraine as well as the local agencies that represent them:

 http://tech.fortune.cnn.com/2013/04/09/the-mail-order-bride-boom/?iid=SF_F_River

Anytime we are on a dating site that requires payment for communication and/or correspondence, we should be suspicious that there very well could be ulterior motives, regardless of the claims of the company or website we are using.  In all honesty, these Western-based companies and websites can only do so much when it comes to the honesty and integrity of ladies halfway around the world and the local agencies that represent them.  But in my experience, I will say this:  Every time I have brought significant evidence of wrongdoing or fraudulent activity to the attention of an international dating company or website, the company has taken action and usually removed the girl from its site and issued refunded credit.

Before I get into the specifics of the variety of scams that are perpetrated from "long-distance," I would recommend any man who is considering investing his time, money, effort and emotional well-being into seeking a bride from Ukraine, always apply "romantic common sense"... call on your faculties, experiences and memories to evaluate whether or not a love relationship is truly blossoming, or only a one-way "sponsorship" is in the works...

I have coined a phrase I mentioned to my friends in Odessa many times... the 3-date Rule.  If you are "investing" in an interpreter, nice dinners, perhaps small introductory gifts, etc., we must see some level of "romantic" progress by the 3rd or 4th date.  I'm not saying you should expect to sleep with her this quickly, but there must be some signs of mutual romantic chemistry... common sense here.  If your prospective "bride" is not willing to hold your hand or take your arm while walking, get closer to you physically, become more comfortable with "innocent" kissing... some romantic sign by the 3rd or 4th date, then in all likelihood, you're probably becoming a victim of the "dog and pony show"... another phrase I've coined...

The "dog and pony show" is the girl with "her" interpreter, and the two of them are more interested in talking with each other in Russian than making any romantic connection with the poor chap sporting the bill.  Often times these 2 girls are good friends and/or sincere business partners, only interested in keeping the meter running with interpreter fees, expensive meals, expensive shopping, fraudulent taxi expenses, and virtually anything else you can think of that causes money to leave your wallet...

In my next entry, I will discuss the pros and cons of the "pay" websites, the letter writing, the live chatting, and the rest...

                                                 Odessa at Sunrise...

Sponsored Tour vs. Individualized "Solo" Trip

Unfortunately, my 2010 New Years Eve video did not transfer well to this discussion... it was over a 5-minute video and must have been too large to add.  You can see a few scenes from that festive occasion, but unfortunately, not much can be seen, and none of my "stimulating and witty" commentary can be heard (self-described, of course).

Before I get into more of my personal journey, I want to discuss my feelings regarding sponsored tours to Ukraine versus "doing your own thing" and traveling on your own.  Although my most recent 14 trips to Ukraine were "solo trips" with my own organization and travel plans, 2 of my first 3 trips to Ukraine were  with sponsored tours by Anastasia-Date.com, including my first trip, of course.

I will say this:  Despite the fact you are paying a "premium" when taking an organized tour, I would recommend the "tour route" for any first-timer traveling to this part of the world from North America.  First of all, not only does it alleviate some of the stress of traveling nearly halfway around the world to a completely foreign country and culture, meeting some fellow "like-minded" adventurers brings instant comradery and friendships.

On my first trip/tour to Ukraine, I met some guys with whom I am still very close friends, including the Anastasia Tour American Representative I discussed earlier, William.  I guess I would say that an organized tour was part of my "learning curve" when it came to exploring this part of the world...

Plus, the tour includes the well-publicized "socials"... if you are unaware of socials, these are the organized events, usually held at a privately-reserved nightclub or conference center, where a multitude of ladies, hopefully single and interested, assemble waiting to meet the tour participants and perhaps a few independent travelers who pay a significant fee to enter.  Interpreters are supplied free of charge for the event, usually lasting somewhere between 4 and 6 hours.  The idea is to meet as many ladies as you find interesting (or that may find you interesting), exchange contact information, and set up dates for the remainder of your trip.

For me personally, I thought this was a foolish concept on my first trip/tour, and I did not attend any of the 3 socials that were included in my rather pricey tour.  Besides, I had already planned to meet more girls than I could fit into my schedule from all of my letter-writing the previous 3 months.  Early in 2008, there was no "live chatting" on the Anastasia site... that's a newer phenomenon that seems to dominate most of the websites these days...

I will discuss both website letter-writing and live chatting at a later time, but I will say this... the vast majority of these "money-making" services will definitely fall into the "Pitfall" category of this discussion... they constitute two of the primary methods of fraudulent behavior perpetrated by both individual girls and the small, local agencies in which they join and are "employed"...

But of course early in 2008 as I was just beginning this odyssey, I was just another trusting, "wanting-to-believe" foreign, single man.  Although I knew the letters were being interpreted by an "agency" interpreter, I actually believed the girl with whom I was corresponding was actually either writing and/or reading the letter, or knew of its content... or at least its existence!  Sadly, all too often, none of this is true.

In my future posts, I will get into much more detail regarding Socials (which I later learned could be great fun -- if taken in context), website letter-writing, live chatting, and a multitude of other "activities" for which to be aware and very cognizant...

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to all!  Reminds me of my only New Years celebration in Odessa... some 4 years ago now.  If I can, I will post a video I took from the New Years Celebration of 2010 in Odessa... I hope it works!  Now remember, this is raw footage at the strike of midnight in Odessa 4 years ago, and we had been celebrating a bit, so there might be some "raw" comments as well... ;)))

Just to add some context to this video, I am with my long-time close friend and confidant, Luba, and my girlfriend at that time, Anna... who is now, of course, an ex-girlfriend married to some Frenchman... there is a very interesting story here that I will touch on at a later time...